Dear Pittsburgh

Dear Pittsburgh,
I have dealt with alot since we moved here. In the three short months we've been here, I have learned to accept the fact that there is a huge lack of selection in Mexican restaurants. I won't even mention how hard it is to find guacamole at the grocery store. Your abundance of Italian restaurants/pizza parlors/sandwich shops almost makes up for it. I have overlooked the fact that you size your pizzas by the "cut", and that you call seasoned potato wedges something as simple as "potato wedges". We all know they are called jo-jos.
I have driven cautiously through the mazes of construction. I have kept my cool in the face of horrific drivers. I stay the speed limit even though no one else does. I have accepted the fact that I may never see a straight road again.
I am learning to be surrounded by black and gold, and I know that I may never entirely fit in due to my extreme lack of sports knowledge. I have accepted this.
But Pittsburgh, you have to stop snowing. This is something I can't handle. I've lived in lots of snow before, and I always hate it, so please don't take it personally. But it has to stop. And it really has to stop right now. I feel like I've been very understanding and patient in many aspects, I'm just asking you to do the same for me. Please stop snowing. Please.
Thanks for your time. And your ketchup. And your large quantity of dinosaurs. And your awesome corned beef sanwiches. And your very friendly community of people. Please consider my request.
Gretchen